Economic Wedding Ideas

It may seem obvious but in order to stick to your budget when planning a wedding, you first need to decide what that budget actually is!  This number is what you’re going to need to stay under as you make decisions about what to purchase, where cuts can be made, how you’re going to plan everything accordingly.

Tradition vs. Today

It used to be traditional for the bride’s family to pay for the vast majority if not the entire wedding, but this tradition has been falling by the wayside more and more often with today’s weddings.

How the tradition began.

One big reason for why this tradition is being abandoned may have to do with how it got started in the first place.  Not that many generations ago women were considered the property of their families and their fathers in particular and they were given away as property; the entire wedding ceremony and ensuing festivities were considered part of what the father was “giving” to the groom and his family.  It was also thought that because women did not work outside the home and the new husband was going to be completely responsible for her expenses after the wedding, it was only appropriate that her father be responsible for the expenses of “her” day, meaning the wedding itself.  It was also the groom’s responsibility to provide a home and everything in it, and many who married were very young and so still struggling financially.  For the groom or his family to be expected to pay for the wedding on top of the new residence may have put too much of a burden on them.

Obviously times have changed.  Women no longer feel as if they are property, and rightly so.  Most women work outside the home at least in some capacity and many couples who marry are already established in their own household or have the financial means to provide one easily, so paying for their own wedding is much easier for them.

And it’s a fact that many parents are finding that their own budget is stretched to the limit as well.  They simply do not always have the means to provide for a lavish wedding especially if they’ve already paid for prom dresses, braces, college, and so many other expenses involved in raising children today that were not always expected those generations ago.

Today’s customs.

So how have the customs of paying for a wedding evolved into today’s common practices?  There are some things to consider seriously when deciding who is going to pay for what, and of course every family and couple is different, but here are some common practices today.

• Bride and groom split the cost.  This is most common for couples where both are working and have the financial means to pay for what they want.  Unfortunately there are times also when one is estranged from their family or for another reason would feel awkward in asking for funds.  When parents too are feeling the stress of a fixed income or a pinched budget it may be better for the bride and groom to pay for their own wedding so as to not put an unnecessary burden on either.

• Parties split the cost equally.  This might mean the bride, groom, and their respective parents.  If the bride’s or groom’s parents have since passed away then the cost of the wedding may be split between the three parties.

• Parents of both bride and groom split the cost equally.  Some parents are in a position where they can and want to provide a wedding for their children, but of course many are realizing that it’s just no longer appropriate for a bride’s parents to foot the entire bill.  The parents of both bride and groom may get together and decide to split the costs equally instead of picking and choosing who pays for what.

• Parents contribute a certain amount.  If the parents are on a budget or for whatever reason they feel appropriate, they may decide to simply give the bride and groom a set amount of money and have them spend it as they choose.

What to Consider

So what about you?  What’s your situation?

Maybe you have wealthy parents that are willing to foot the bill for whatever you want, but chances are that’s just not the case.  The fairy tale wedding is just that for many - a fairy tale.  You need to stick to a budget and make some sacrifices.

As you’re deciding what that budget is, consider a few things first.

Don’t start your new life buried in debt.

What do couples argue about?  Lots of stuff, but very often money is one of the main things they disagree about.  When you’re burdened and overwhelmed with debt from the first day of your marriage, this isn’t going to help those arguments go away.

It is so tempting to whip out the charge cards whenever you see something you think you need or that you just fall in love with but remember that anything you purchase for your wedding is going to be used for one day while the debt will stay with you for years.  Of course you want a beautiful and memorable day and want to look good in pictures, have a nice reception for your guests and so on, but this doesn’t mean you should just spend without discretion or tally up bills that will last for years.

Think of your other plans and upcoming expenses.

Suppose you have money saved up and want to spend it on the wedding.  We’ll talk in a later section about saving for your wedding, but here we’re discussing money you have in the bank or a retirement fund or CDs.  Again, the temptation can be great to pull it all out and spend everything on your wedding but think of other expenses and goals you have that this money can and should be spent on.  For example:

• Do you already own a home or will you be purchasing one after the wedding?  How will spending the money you have in savings affect your ability to afford the down payment and the monthly payments after that?  What about things you’ll need for the home such as furniture, appliances, landscaping, and other upgrades?

• Do you have any schooling that you need to complete or are currently completing?  Are you prepared to meet those expenses?

• What about children?  Do you have kids now or are you planning on having children in the near future?  Even if the answer is no, remember that sometimes couples are surprised even with the best of precautions.  If and when children arrive you need money for the things they need, medical care for mom and the newborn, and all the expenses you’ll incur down the road.

• You may have other goals and plans for the two of you once you’re married that will also mean expenses, for instance, do you want to do any traveling, are you thinking of starting a business, or are there purchases you’re considering such as water toys, a sports car, and so on?

When you start to think about all the expenses you’ll have not just for your wedding but for your relationship and your life down the road, you can better put the wedding itself in perspective and realize that it’s not very wise to spend every dime you have - and to borrow some you don’t - on your wedding alone.

Your Current Debt and Expenses

Telling you exactly how much you should spend on your wedding is like telling you who you should date - it just can’t be done since it’s such a personal decision and there’s so many factors involved.  You can’t come up with a formula for how much to spend on a wedding any more than you can come up with a formula for picking your perfect mate.

That doesn’t mean you’re at a loss, however.  There are many factors you should keep in mind when you’re deciding on your budget and of course your own current debt and expenses is going to be one of those factors.

Let’s explain it this way.  A couple that makes $150,000 combined income and lives in a home with a $1,500 mortgage payment and two cars with combined payments of $500 and credit card debt of only a thousand dollars or so is in relatively good shape financially.  A couple with the same income and expenses but that has $15,000 in credit card debt is not in such great shape.  That credit card debt is just going to get worse and worse over the years if they’re not making significant payments toward the principal and are only paying on the interest.

By the same token, a couple can have a $1,500 mortgage payment, two modest car payments and a small amount of credit card debt but if they’re combined income is only $40,000 or so, then again, they’re going to have some problems paying on any additional debt including new credit card payments.

Your budget and how much you can spend on your wedding is a very personal subject and just not something that someone else can decide for you.  But when you consider your income and your debt then you’re closer to figuring it for yourself.

Sometimes those coming right out of school or their parents’ home when getting married also don’t have that much of a realistic idea when it comes to the cost of maintaining a home.  They may know their rent or mortgage payment but often forget all those minor expenses as well.  Consider:

• Utilities, including gas, electric, water, cable, phone and internet access.

• Maintenance expenses for the home such as replacing major appliances, doing repair work, maintaining lawn care equipment or paying someone else to take care of the lawn.

• Groceries.

• Personal care items such as soap, shampoo, shaving cream, bath tissue, and so on.

• Newspaper or magazine subscriptions.

These things might not sound like much but anyone that owns a home or lives on their own even in an apartment can tell you that they call all really add up!

So when deciding on your own budget you need to be careful about how much you’ll put on credit cards, how much you’ll take out of your current savings, and how much you’ll simply pay cash for as you go along.

Setting Aside Money

What most people do when budgeting their wedding is combine the amount of money they might have in savings right now as well as any cash that parents or others will donate, and combine that with the amount of money they can set aside each week or with each paycheck.  If you keep track of how much you can set aside each paycheck and multiply that by how many paychecks you’ll get between now and your wedding, you know how much you have.

For example, suppose you have $1,000 set aside for your wedding and your fiancée has the same; both sets of parents are donating $1,000 each.  That means you have $4,000 cash right now, but you can set aside $50 each week from your weekly paycheck as well.  If your wedding is in six months or 24 weeks, that’s an additional $1,200 ($50 x 24 weeks).  So your wedding budget is $5,200.

Just be careful when figuring this amount when it comes to that money you can set aside each week.  Remember that a lot can happen between now and your wedding - your car might need repairs or you’ll get sick and a have a doctor’s bill to pay, and so on.  Always figure on the conservative side since it’s better to have money left over than to budget for a purchase and run out of money.

Sit down right now with your fiancée and start figuring your monetary situation.  Remember that you’ll need money left over after the wedding for your honeymoon, new home, and so many other things so you want to be reasonable and modest when setting this budget.

Tip from the experts: Avoid the temptation to just “wing it” as you go along.  This is a surefire way to overspend.  Make a budget and come up with a concrete number, and then keep subtracting as you purchase items.  If your budget is $5,000 and you buy a wedding dress for $800, subtract that so your new budget is $4,200 for remaining items.  Your catering choice is $1,200 so subtract that and your new number is $3,000 … and so on.  Always keep track of every purchase so that you know you’re not going over budget.